“Don’t get all weird about getting older! Our age is merely the number of years the world has been enjoying us!!” (from a “Maxine” cartoon)

People often forward funny cartoons and stories via email to family and friends about people who are getting older – as in active senior citizens or frail elders. That is partly because it is easier to laugh about our aging than to just dread it.

We have been writing about growing older since the other side of senior citizen status. For us, probably the biggest change is that we retired five years ago and have been enjoying international living and travel with no serious health problems ever since.

Having created and run home care and geriatric care management companies, we are familiar with the impact of frail physical health and memory loss on aging individuals and their families. This perhaps is what most people fear as they move toward later life. It not only is painful and frightening to the affected senior, but it often dominates and diminishes the lives of primary family caregivers.

Another dreaded event is the loss of one’s treasured life partner. After deeply sharing life for decades, it is difficult to even imagine living without the partner. Adjusting to such a loss takes persevering courage, time, and patient support from people close to a grieving partner.

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We have always used the expression “growing” rather than “getting” older. That is because we believe it is critical to live our later lives, just as our earlier lives, with emphasis on positive activities and attitudes rather than passive fixation on what we might lose or fear. Fortunately, we have been blessed to have outstanding role models in this regard. We know many people who, in spite of diminished physical capacities and sometimes tragic loss, have continued to explore the world through travel, creative hobbies, volunteer service and dedication to their family and friends.

On the eve of Thanksgiving, a friend of ours (Tom Stella, corporate chaplain for a health care organization in Colorado) emailed “A Pledge for Grateful Living written by Benedictine brother David Steindl-Rast, OSB, in which he encourages us to overcome those aspects of life that hold us back from living not only gratefully, but generously, creatively, non-violently, and courageously. When our lives are characterized by the virtues he espouses, our living becomes a thanks giving.”

Tom concludes his Thanksgiving message by encouraging us to “live with abandon, taste all of life, savor the sweet and the sour. Bon appetite!”

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